If I told you
by Crazygirlka
Summary: Naomi's life is quite boring,but after a spontaneous meeting everything changes.Naomily and others,rubbish summery,but just give it a try please :
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys!So,it's my first actual fic,you know,I will post more chapters, this one is for FaithSky,without her,I wouldn't be here. so thank you thank you thank if you are not reading ''Sweet Disposition''-you should be ashamed of yourselves ,this one is kinda autobiographical,a lot of this stuff did happen to me,so...just read and enjoy :)**

The sun was shining. Vicky's voice was nearly loud enough for me to hear, but I was too distracted by the tickling on my bare arms and legs. It was a beautiful day and we were stuck at school. Fucking brilliant.

Our free period allowed us to lie on the grass and just enjoy the sun. Just the three of us…me, Vicky and Steph. We've been best friends since the age of five. Vicky is the emotional one; she also loves being a right smartass. She is taller than us, well fit, with curly brown hair. She always says what she thinks which helps keep the balance in our friendship. Steph, well, Steph is Steph, no more and no less. Her name is really Stephanie, but no one actually calls her that. She is always up for a party, the social butterfly; you know …the one who always knows where the party is, the good guys or girls. I adore a certain part of her character, unfortunately on she usually hides. Sometimes, she can be really deep and serious. Steph has strong beliefs. I hate it though, coz she can kick me in the right direction, keep me in check so to speak. The three of us, always together: the emotional one, the party lion and the loner. No prizes for guessing which one I am…I don't like making new friends, I already have friends, good ones at that. My sarcasm is my power. Because of it people often think I'm arrogant and really self-centered. I'm ok with it though. They can think whatever they want to, I don't give a fuck. It's just the three of us against the world. I tell them everything and vice versa. I was just sat there, thinking about the day we met, when something rather hard hit me over the head.

"What the fuck!?" I jumped and looked around for the reason behind the pain now creasing over the back of my skull.

"Oh babe…drifting off again?" Vicky was wearing her infamous smirk, which ended up just making me smile, I was about to give a wise arse answer but before I could say anything Steph's phone was rang. _'You love her coz she is dead' _echoed over the school. This girl has a really good taste in music. We all waited patiently whilst she nattered to whoever it was on the other end of the phone, smiling slightly as she got more and more into the conversation.

"Babes, we have been invited to a party. It's down in the centre of town and starts at three in the am. You up for it?" Her brown eyes were full of the excitement I could see growing throughout the phone call.

"I'll pass. Don't feel like it tonight." Everyone is allowed to back away from the excuse to get drunk, especially if they actually don't feel like having any fun whatsoever…loner remember!?

"Naoms, as much as I love you, you are no fun. C'mon live a little." She raised her eyebrows at me, making me roll my eyes in return and just end up staring at her. She knew she would win me round eventually…bitch.

"Yeah, and then end up in bed with a complete stranger. Thanks, but no thanks…" I broke our eye contact, attempting to fight against her persuasion knowing that, really…it was inescapable.

"Pfft...There is no need for sex. Just a drink, a dance and a little chat with your mates. Show the world you are still alive…I'm sure it's starting to worry!" She was grinning that annoyingly hilarious grin at me, the one she knew that I couldn't really resist…sometimes I really hate her.

"Oh, god…am I hearing things? Did Steph just say no need for sex?" I winked at her, causing her to roll her eyes in my direction…she may be a sarcastic cow, but I could hold my own.

"You are making me sound like a fucking sex maniac." She was actually shocked, did she not know her own reputation preceded her. I couldn't help but stifle a laugh.

"Babe, we love you…really...but you know you are little bit slut-ish." That was it, I couldn't hold the laugh back any longer and full on chuckled at how much of a slag she really was. That was until she slapped me with the back of her hand.

"Bitch!" That small backhand started a full on fight, rolling around on the grass, each of us attempting to slap the other silly. With the sudden onslaught of movement something fell from Steph's pocket.

"Oi, oi, what's this?" Vicky's excitement caused the fight to stop as suddenly as it had begun, until we both just sat, covered in grass, staring at whatever it was Vicky was holding. It looked like a fag, but on closer inspection it definitely held more than just tobacco…she was just twirling the spliff-like thing around between her fingers, smirking effortlessly.

"It's tea. I missed it and just, you know...thought we should do it again." It was tradition from last year. Smoking tea instead of weed. It's unhealthy, but still good. It really had been a while…Steph wriggled her eyebrows, making any inhibitions I had, cave beneath me.

"Ok, I'll come!" I huffed, watching the smile grow even bigger on her face.

"Oh, I made you come, just with my words. I'm that good." She was such a twat, but really…I loved her for it.

"Oi, shut up, you prick. Just give us the details." She was still grinning as she recited the factors of where, when and why.

"Fine, so, we're sorted. Now I have to go. See ya soon." With that Steph grabbed her bag, brushed off the grass from our tumble and headed to her music class. You could say that the love of her life is her guitar.

"She is annoying sometimes, but, god, that girl knows how to party." Vicky's filled the void that Steph's absence made, making us both laugh even fucking more; my sides were actually starting to hurt.

"Yeah, tell me about it." I managed through burst of chuckling. They say laughter is good for the soul, but this is fucking ridiculous. Vicky and I continued talking about the party and the other usual stuff for a bit. That was until something caught my eye and all coherent thoughts left my brain completely. A flash of bright red hair. It wasn't her, I knew it wasn't her…but it was certainly enough to make me think about her.

_Flashback:_

_Bright red hair. Pale face and big brown eyes. Amazing body and something__ that immediately attracted me to her, even if I couldn't quite put my finger on it. She seemed familiar; something about her struck me from the very moment of notable distinction when she caught my eye. Standing there, looking at nothing in particular, making everything seem suddenly more beautiful._

"Naoms, are you listening to me?" Vicky was annoyed. I could tell just by the way her eyebrows looked, quirked up at the sides, almost scowling at me.

"Yeah, yeah, I am." Whether she believed me or not was another matter, but for now, she just rolled her eyes but continued her rabble anyway.

"Ok, so, I saw Freddie last night. Apparently he has a new girlfriend. Her name is Emily and she is beautiful. And I'm the loser, who is without a relationship yet a-fucking-gain." Vicky and Freds dated for like six months. He was very much in love with her, but she never let her guard down. Eventually they broke up, it was really really ugly and now she is just a miserable cow who can't seem to think of anything else.

"Just ignore him…And you are not a loser, just, you know… relationship-less. It's not a big deal. Look at me and Steph- we are perfectly happy alone." I thought I was being quite persuasive but she didn't look convinced.

"Some day you will find that special person and everything will be alright." My final roll of the dice, I really wasn't any good with anyone else's problems, I had enough of my own.

"Naoms, I need to tell you something…" Her voice was hoarse and she looked nervous, really nervous. Her eyes never left her hands.

"Okaaay, just tell me…" She was playing with her ring, but still being completely silent, I was always worried when she actually shut up, it meant something was really starting to get to her.

"Vicky, you can tell me, you know." I leant forwards ever so slightly, just to let her know that I was here for her and always would be.

"I like her." Her voice was barely a whisper, but I heard it as though there was no other sound revolving around the world.

"Who?" The question escaped me before I had really had time to process it, wait a sec, _her_, since when was she into girls? We've never really questioned our sexuality. We date whoever we want to and that's that.

"Steph." Her voice was still barely audible, dry and shaking against the nerves.

"What?!" I couldn't believe it, I was in complete shock, where the actual fuck had this come from? Stunned silence threatened to set in before I needed clarification.

"Steph? As in _our_ Steph? Since when?" Questions poured out of me, I needed to know the ins and outs of what the hell was going on.

"It just happened, I didn't mean to fall for her, but you know her, she is a natural charmer. And I was lonely after Freddie and one day…I just… looked at her with new eyes." I was speechless. It's the curse. The one thing that could potentially ruin our friendship, coz let's face it falling for your best friend…it's really not a good thing. But I wanted them to try. Strangely, they look good together.

"Ok, I need a cigarette. Let's get out of here." With that silence was granted, giving me time to attempt to process everything.

Hours later…we were just smoking weed and talking about stuff. Everything had finally stopped going around and around in my head, time heals all…well time was fucking helping me make sense of something I didn't think was even a possibility.

"You should tell her. She has to know." Truth is always the way forward, even if it did hurt sometimes.

"No, at least not yet." Vicky still couldn't look at me as she tried to talk through all of this, she looked almost ashamed that she hadn't told me before now…but it was hard for her to share her feelings. So I ended up just putting a hand on her knee, silently letting her know that it really would all be ok.

"But why? What if she feels the same way?" Love was definitely something that needed to be spoken about, one of the few things that should, under no circumstance, remain hidden.

"You know her. She is like you for god's sake. She'll just try to act like everything is fine, but at the end it won't be and it will fucking ruin our friendship. I can't lose her. Just for now I will suffer in silence. So, please don't say anything, you have to promise you won't tell her." She looked so fragile and even if I didn't want to admit it, she was right. I didn't promise openly, I just nodded an understanding nod and took a long drag from the cigarette simply enjoying the feeling.

"It's a fucked up situation, isn't it?" I couldn't stand awkward silences but my prying was rewarded with her sorrow filled eyes meeting mine.

"Yeah, it is." She managed a brief smile before laying back down on the grass.

**so,please rate and review...just let me know what you think about it ;)**


	2. Chapter 2

**So, ladies and gents, chapter 2 is here :P again thanks to FaithSky( I seriously love this girl) and chapter 2 is for lovely_truth :* She is really impatient for the whole thing :P Thank you all for the lovely reviews, and I hope I don't disappoint...Enjoy!**

After spending a good three hours straightening my sleek blond hair, applying make-up and choosing the perfect outfit, I was ready. Deciding to wear my skinny blue jeans, black vest top and my absolute favorite converse, I figured I looked vaguely presentable. Vicky came over early, half an hour before the party, to check my make-up…just to make sure I didn't look too much like a fucking clown. I'm not good with covering my face in cosmetics, which isn't really considering I hate, you know…the whole thing, but I promised to go, so here I'm. I really don't like to admit it, but I was looking forward to the party. It really has been a while. Steph was meeting us there and leaving me with Vicky. Both of us knew that that party was going to be really important. I sighed the thought away, looked at myself for the hundredth time in the mirror and smiled.

"Ok, babe, let's go'' We grabbed our jackets and went to say bye to my mum. I really love her; she is not the archetypal kind of mum. After years of communal living, we are finally on our own…thank fuck. She understands me, I love her little pearls of wisdom, and she always manages to know when I need help, stops me from banging my head against the figurative wall of my own annoyance for too long…she just knew me. But, of course, no matter how well we seemed to get along, she can still be such a pain in the ass sometimes. After my parents got divorced, my dad married again. He doesn't call though. For years she was crying at night, thinking I couldn't hear her, or understand why she seemed unable to function. But I noticed. And more than anything, I hated him for doing it to her…even not being around he managed to fuck everything up. I know deep down she still loves him. That's the reason I don't believe in love, coz love is the basic emotion enabling one the right to destroy the other. And I don't want to be dependent on someone else, vulnerability was something that I couldn't be encased by…I didn't want to be a slave to anyone, so I keep everyone at an arms distance and everything is fine.

My mum was watching TV; I kissed her on the cheek and smiled at her briefly before starting to disappear.

"Bye mum, don't wait up for me.'' I shouted from trying to squeeze out of the door to avoid further, potentially embarrassing conversation.

"Oh…ok, bring someone home darling, it really has been a while…'' Yeah, remember when I told you she is annoying, now you can see why. I rolled my eyes and closed the door behind me, relishing the escape.

It was a chilly night in Bristol. Even our summer is kind of cold, so we are used to it…not happy with it, but it is something that unfortunately we cant change…weather is just one of those things. We hadn't long been out into the night when Steph texted me the address, promptly changing our direction and starting towards sweaty, crowded, fucked off their tits teenagers…no wonder I prefer to sit in my room thinking huh?

The journey was quiet, Vicky was dealing with her own thoughts and that gave me the opportunity to explore the city. Bristol was beautiful, so green, I loved the energy. And besides, Bristol's night life was famous, after all. It wasn't long before our destination appeared on the blackening horizon. The house was big, really big, like fantasy story big and still nearly overflowing with drunk teenagers, thinking that they were all really cool. I hated those pricks. The Ting Tings burst through the speakers, guys were drinking and trying to hit on girls, girls were dancing and chatting. Some couples were having sex in front of everybody. Turning my head and trying desperately not to vomit, I immediately felt the atmosphere stifling my skin making me want to start dancing as well, that and Vicky was jumping next to me, she was far too excitable.

"Girls, girls, over here'' Steph was waving at us from the opposite corner of the room; it was so crowded that I was surprised she even saw us at the first place. In her right hand was a bottle of vodka, typical Steph and she had that twinkle in her eyes which means she has found something shag-able, so to speak. I looked at where Vicky had been dancing, but she was gone. Jesus, it really is gonna be a long long night.

"So where is the princess of darkville?'' She was grinning like an idiot and quite frankly I wanted to slap her really hard, but I didn't. Instead I just grabbed the bottle from her hand and took a big swig. The taste of cheap vodka invaded my mouth, it was disgusting, but I smiled anyway.

"So, tell me about that girl.'' I looked her straight in the eye.

"What girl?'' Oh fucking brilliant, she is playing innocent.

"You know, the girl you intend to fuck tonight, _that _girl'' I rolled my eyes.

"Babe, you know me too well,'' She smiled effortlessly, before attempting to point a rather drunk finger at someone behind me.

"She is right there'' I turned around to see who she was pointing at. She looked exactly like my passing dream girl from that fateful day on the bus. But still; I could see the strikingly obvious differences, when you spend pretty much every drifting hour thinking about someone…you can recognize everything about them. But Steph's target for tonight, well…her face was round, her hair-dark brown, but she had the exact same beautiful chestnut eyes and amazing body. Her leopard printed skirt told me for definite that, whoever she was, she wasn't the girl burnt into my brain.

"So, what do you think? She is hot, right?'' Steph was practically panting over the expectation, but I simply nodded, I don't think I was actually capable of any other reaction.

" Her name is Katie Fitch, she has a twin sister. I'm sure, you will see her around.'' I hope so, I really hope so…this 'other' Fitch could prove a halfway decent distraction. After chatting a little with Steph and joking around, something at the end of the room caught my attention. Vicky was garishly snogging the face off of my brother. Yep, my brother, Cook. We are very alike and the bond between us is really strong. That, however didn't stop him from fucking Steph occasionally, he was a machine and now it seemed that his target was Vicky. I looked at Steph, if looks could kill…Cook would not only be dead but pretty mangled as well, I have never seen her like that before. Her eyes were full with anger and pain. Maybe it's not mission impossible to get them together after all. As she sensed I was looking at her she hid the pain quickly, but it was definitely there, I saw it. So, now everything depends on me.

With one last glance at my after-that-dead brother she stormed of the room. I think Katie Fitch would be fucked till her demise tonight. I didn't see Steph again and after spending a good half an hour snogging, Vicky and Cook were gone as well. I was left completely alone, enjoying a spliff and a bottle of vodka. Some prick tried hitting on me, but I chased him away with my shit hot sarcasm. I debated wearing a neon sign exclaiming 'Not Interested!' but that would have probably drawn me more fucking attention.

I danced a little to 'Omen' by The Prodigy, it's the song- it gives me so much energy every time I hear it…it's addictive rhythm just makes me jump around like a crazy person. And then came the breaking point, I stopped dead in my tracks, my breath hitched…caught somewhere between my heart and my head. Right in front of me was _her…_ my dream girl, the one I was spending every second of my last few months thinking of, but instead of looking at me, she was looking at Freddie. Yes, you heard me right, Freddie, her boyfriend. I cringed at the thought of his dirty male hands on her beautiful body. They were dancing, her body was pressed to his and they looked at each other lovingly. Her bright red hair, illuminated by the lights, was falling freely on her shoulders. Her tight black jeans hugged her perfectly long legs. Her slender arms were touching his back. They were very much in love. I felt sick, physically sick; I thought I was actually going to puke. I was fucking jealous, she wanted him and I would never be able to hold her like that. The final nail in my coffin was their kiss. And she initiated it; she kissed him with so much passion. And I ran, I ran away from that awful party, away from Cook and Vicky, away from Steph and her mindless fucks, but most importantly…away from Emily.

How did I let this happen? When did she become so important to me? For fuck's sake I barely know her and here I am upsetting myself over Freddie's new girlfriend. I bet I can make her happier. No, shut up brain. Emily, her name does sound perfect though.

_Flashback:_

_She turned around so now she was looking right at me. She smiled, her beautiful smile, and god her rosy lips looked so kissable. _

The cold air hit me and I cursed myself for forgetting my jacket, stupid fucking Emily and her stupid fucking _boyfriend_. I don't even know how I managed to get to my house, but I did. My mum was asleep and I went to the kitchen. Put the kettle on and waited for my tea. I was pouring the hot water in my favorite cup when I received a text.

**Babe, what's up? Why did you leave so early? xVx**

Why? You have got to be kidding me, is she fucking blind or something. At that moment I didn't feel like texting her so I just turned off my phone. I took the tea with me and went to my room. I was still shaking from all the emotions. All the thoughts in my mind didn't let me fall asleep for a few more hours, so I just lay there, on my back and looked at the ceiling.

So, what did I know for sure? –

a) Vicky probably was fucking Cook right now, while she is very much in love with Steph.

b) Steph, on the other hand, obviously has some feelings, but kept them far too deeply inside and now was probably fucking Katie Fitch.

c) Emily, Freddie's new girlfriend is the girl I saw at the bus stop months ago, the one I know, the one my mind can't escape. The one I know more than anything I have some serious feelings for, right? It felt like someone was cutting me with a knife? No, I will forget about her and her beautiful face. Besides, I haven't seen her in months and there is the small matter that she doesn't even know I exist. What an eventful party.

With that I turned around in bed and turned off the light.

**R&R please, very much appreciated :)**


	3. Author's Note

Hey, guys

I'm so, so sorry that it's has been 2 bloody years since my last update! My life was kind of hectic and a lot of things have happened. I'm sorry that you had to wait for so long. But I have to tell you – I'm back! I have a few chapters written down, but I need someone to help me with them. Is there a volunteer? You can write me and we will start as soon as possible. I'm not giving up with this story

Xoxo,

Steph


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